"Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce."
"Divorce is the second worst event in a person's life. The worst event, of course, is marriage."
"No, the divorce was great. It was the marriage that sucked."
"They throw rice at a new marriage, then give him beans in a divorcement."
"Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse."